Bloggers, Let’s Stop Being So Hard on Ourselves

Bloggers, Let’s Stop Being So Hard on Ourselves

One of the things I’ve come to realize lately is that we as bloggers & content creators are extremely hard on ourselves. If we’re not beating ourselves down by constantly comparing ourselves to others in terms of how our photos look on Instagram, or how many sponsored gigs we’re getting, or why we didn’t get invited to a specific event… it’s because we’re too busy stressing about all the writing we have to do just so that we hit that (what we see in our heads to be) desirable number of posts a week, or we’re spending that time feeling guilty about all the posts we haven’t been able to write, how long it’s been since we’ve been able to post, and just how far this is putting us back.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel all of the above at least at some point during my blogging career, if not many times. Lately I’ve been struggling with a lot of personal guilt because I haven’t blogged in a couple weeks. In fact the whole last month I only put out two posts. TWO. As someone who enjoys routine, likes sticking to a strict schedule, and keeps long lists of all the things I need to accomplish.. this has been slowly eating away at me. My blog “to-do” list is a mile long, the content I have that’s un-edited and waiting for me to work on is piling up, and as the days pass it stresses me out more and more.

The other day I had to step back and take a second to figure out why this stresses me out so much. I realized it’s the pressure that we as bloggers put on ourselves to meet what we believe (this is the key, it’s just what we tell ourselves!) is the industry (or acceptable) standard for what should and shouldn’t be done as a blogger, that allows us to constantly feel stressed. Whether we’re stressed about having to keep up, or we’re stressed about not being able to keep up and falling behind. It seems like no matter what, we are always stressing because of these made up standards we have engrained in our brains, and our need to constantly compare ourselves to them and to others.

I myself am used to blogging once a week (sometimes twice), and the fact that I haven’t been able to keep up with that lately, and that I have a growing list of content I have yet to create or posts I have yet to write stresses me out. I feel like when I started writing my blog I made a commitment to post content consistently, and because I haven’t been able to do that lately I’m a failure. Beyond that I compare myself to all these other bloggers who are putting out 1-3 posts a week, while I’ve barely scrapped up 2 posts in a month and this makes me feel like less of a blogger. Lately I’ve been feeling like while everyone else is getting ahead, my lack of posting has me falling behind. But what I’ve come to realize through my self-reflection, is that not only should we not compare ourselves to others as because we are all living completely different lives (with different work situations, relationships, home/family life, and commitments), but that we have to realize (and start being ok with the fact) that sometimes life throws us a curveball and we just don’t have the time to keep up. And that’s totally OKAY.

So here’s me voicing the truth, allowing myself to come to terms with it. I just haven’t had time lately, and that’s OK. Between packing for the move, moving, getting settled in from the move, and working a little more than I should be to make up for the holidays, I just haven’t had any free time. Every second I’m not working, I’m unpacking, and every second I’m not unpacking I’m working. Ive managed to keep up with Instagram, but I just haven’t had time to work on my blog, and I don’t see myself being able to really sit down and focus until my condo is completely organized and settled. I’ve started to realize that instead of beating myself to the ground about not being able to keep up I need to realize that life happens. It’s OK to get busy and have to put things on hold. It doesn’t make you a failure, it doesn’t make you any less of a blogger, it doesn’t set you back in ANY WAY. No one out there is sitting there looking at your blog and thinking how bad it is we haven’t put out a post in weeks, in fact most people probably haven’t even noticed because most people don’t keep track of that like we do.

We as content creators are our worst critics, and are so hard on ourselves. We need to learn to step back and look at it the way others do. We need to step back and realize that we can’t always be in control, we can’t always stick to a strict schedule because life doesn’t always allow that. And we need to learn not to beat ourselves up when it doesn’t. It is in no way a reflection on our work ethic, who we are as a creator, or our abilities in any way. Bloggers, let’s all stop being so hard on ourselves. We get so wrapped up in stressing about these things that it consumes us. We worry so much about whether we’re doing enough based on what other bloggers are doing that we forget about what’s actually going on in our lives.

 

Remember that we all have a different story to tell. We all come from different backgrounds, with different levels of experience.. we all have different work situations, relationships, and home/family lives.. Some have been doing this for years, some for only months. Stop comparing yourself to others and seeing your work as any less valuable than it is. When we stop constantly comparing ourselves to others, we will find ourselves less stressed about whether we are keeping up or not, and we’re able to focus instead on putting out content we love and are truly proud of. 

Remember, it’s not about what you haven’t accomplished. It’s about what you HAVE.

 

Me smiling at the idea of how great it would be if we were all just a little easier on ourselves.

 

With love,

 

 

Photography by Eryn Shea Photography

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14 Comments

  1. Meg
    December 15, 2017 / 11:23 am

    Thank you for sharing this! In the world of blogging it is so easy to get down on yourself. These are some very important things to remember.

    http://www.meghanlaurie.com

  2. Simonetta Lein
    December 15, 2017 / 12:19 pm

    I appreciate this so much. I always strive for the best and I am often hard with myself. This post was needed ⭐️

  3. December 15, 2017 / 12:33 pm

    I stopped listening to those rules and did what I felt worked for me! Sometimes it just takes time to realize it!

  4. December 16, 2017 / 4:10 am

    As a new blogger I find this kind of guidance really useful. Thank you very much for your honesty and your encouragement xxx

  5. December 16, 2017 / 4:42 am

    Yes gurrrl… to be completely honest… that is my favourite post for this month… from all the blogs… loved it loved it loved it…. it is so true and so beautifully written …. and made me feel so empowered. Thank u so so much
    Have a great weekend

  6. December 16, 2017 / 6:59 am

    Seriously loved this post. So true and so relatable. And it is quality posts like this that are so important to share. Thanks for the reminder <3

    Gabriella
    Pastelsandpastries.com

  7. December 16, 2017 / 5:42 pm

    Omg this is just what i needed! Thank you for this awesome post!

  8. December 17, 2017 / 3:16 am

    It’s so liberating to just focus on yourself and cancel out all the noise right? Agree though, it’s hard to avoid those feelings altogether, but remembering that we’re all different helps. Great post dear x

  9. Valeria
    December 17, 2017 / 3:24 pm

    Dear Kirsten, besides your amazing style and beauty you have always tons of wisdom to share! I can totally relate to what you say! When I started blogging I posted 5 days a week, and now I settled to 2 posts per week. When I cannot even meet that target I feel awful, and then there are all social media to take care of. But as you say, we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves! Considering that our posts are not two liners and we are very picky about photography. Considering that we have a job and a house to take care of. I think we must be very proud of ourselves. See how your motivational post worked on me? You look amazing by the way! Love, Valeria

  10. December 17, 2017 / 5:50 pm

    Hello my friend. Thank you so much for this post. I’ve been wanting to read something like this. It’s been a busy a last few hectic weeks. In blogging and music and i’m trying to juggle both now. So thank you for this, cause it is not easy being a blogger. Like you said we all have different stories to tell. I’m so honored to be following along yours.
    Love, Dom

  11. December 18, 2017 / 10:30 am

    Ugh I LOVE this post boo! I feel like I’ve been so much harder on myself since starting my blog and at the end of the day I really need to just take a breath and put less pressure on myself.

    But I love you and you’re killin’ it!!

    xo,

    H

    http://firsttimethings.com/

  12. Sweet as Fiction
    December 18, 2017 / 2:38 pm

    OMG I can’t tell you how in sync this post is with where I am in life right now. I am also in the middle of trying to relocate, which meant people viewing my house every day which leaves no time to really set aside for writing blog posts etc. and what do you know? I have been super hard on myself thinking I’ve ‘fallen’ behind in the blogging world. Honestly once we all just accept that we are trying to do it all and are doing our best, we can appreciate how far we have come. And of course focus on the end results. I think it’s okay to have a moment where we ‘fall behind’ to come back strong! Thank YOU for this post. <3

    Sweet as Fiction xo
    http://www.sweetasfiction.com

  13. December 19, 2017 / 4:08 pm

    We talked about this and I couldn’t agree more. One of the practices I focus now is to take a breather, stop watching other bloggers stories on Instagram and focus on my own brand. I also only chose to look at people’s feed who inspire me the most to be my better place and take things one at a time.

    Thanks for writing this!

    xxx
    Darlene

  14. Jennifer Quattrucci
    December 22, 2017 / 7:27 pm

    You are so inspiring in all that you have accomplished and everything you said is so true! We all can be so hard on ourselves and there is really no need! I love the end, with you with that big, beautiful smile! Stay happy and be proud of all you’ve done.

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